I can TOTALLY relate sometimes...

A conversation between my sister, Kim, and her almost 3-year-old daughter, Victoria:

(After Victoria steals a toy from her baby sister Alexandra)

Kim: You know Victoria, you are going to have to learn how to share.
Victoria:  I don't want to share.  It's not fair!
Kim:  Life's not fair.
Victoria:  I don't want to DO life anymore!!____________________________________________

My other sister, Rachel, passed this story along to me about a week ago.  I'm sure Victoria didn't even really understand what "life" is, but she knew that whatever it was, she didn't want to do it anymore!

It's just a funny little story, but for some reason that phrase, "I don't want to DO life anymore!!",  keeps ringing in my head all week.  I don't know if I'm just in a "funk" lately, but I'm just kind of tired of life right now.  Sometimes it just seems like all I do is go to work, clean, pay bills, eat, sleep (with many other responsibilities in there) and then do it all over again.  Seriously, is this what life is all about?!?  (I know it isn't and I'll get there in a minute…)  Not to mention, all the horrible, sad things that I've been hearing about recently.  I can't count how many people I've heard of with cancer or other terrible diseases lately.  My friend, Karen, had one of her elementary school students die just the other day.  Can you imagine what that family is feeling right now?  It just seems like there is so much pain in this world.  I guess I've just been longing for those care-free days of youth recently.  I'm sure it was just ignorance and less responsibility, but life just seemed so different then.  I think your eyes are opened when you become an adult, and along with "adult-hood" comes the realization that we live in a very flawed world.  It isn't always fun.  It isn't always fair.  It isn't always good- there is definitely some very real evil in this world (just read the news!).

I know I sound like I'm all doom and gloom right now, but a lot of times when I feel this way I actually feel closer to my God.  I can see that this life is not how God intended it to be.  I know that our sin as humans is what caused this world to be flawed and it makes me even all the more thankful that God sent his son to save us from this world.  It makes me long for heaven.  Why would I want to go to heaven if this world were all that I'd like it to be?! 

This verse pretty much sums up my thoughts lately:

22 For we know that all creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children, including the new bodies he has promised us. 24 We were given this hope when we were saved. (If we already have something, we don’t need to hope for it. 25 But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently.)

Romans 8:22-25 (New Living Translation)

So, that's what I do.  I enjoy the blessings that God has given me in this life, and when the world seems overwhelming, I wait patiently and confidently for the day when this world will pass away.

It's times like this that I just can't understand the despair that people must feel who don't believe this.  How must it feel to not have a hope that there IS something better to come?  Sure, there are some good, wonderful things in this world to live for (and I am truly blessed), but if my short 80-or-so years on this earth is all there is, it just doesn't make sense to me!

Sorry for the little "mini-sermon".  I promise I'll be back with some light-hearted 101 goal completions soon!

Disclaimer:  Trevor said I need to say that I am a happy person who enjoys life.  I have a wonderful husband, amazing family, and great friends.  Really. :)